‘Don’t be satisfied with stories, how things have gone with others. Unfold your own myth’ – Rumi
Sexual Shadow Integration Work is probably one of the most profound pieces of work I have ever undertaken. It is a process of working with our unconscious and conscious selves to seek understanding and liberation. Sexual Shadow Integration Work addresses the dimensions of our sexuality that are held in the unconscious. Literally lifting the lid on ourselves and having the courage to look inside as we shine the flashlight of consciousness into the dark areas of our psyche.
The term shadow was coined by Carl Jung and is used to describe the repressed or denied parts of the self that you try to hide and stays in your subconscious. By stepping into this work and turning our attention inwards we free ourselves from what holds us back.
Often our beliefs and or experiences that hide in our unconscious effects our sexuality, these are the parts of ourselves that we are not fully aware of that can take over and run the show unconsciously. The essence of sexual shadow work is to turn towards our unconscious and embrace it in its totality with awareness and love and move it from the unconscious to the conscious.
By virtue of being human every one of us has a shadow part of our selves. In the words of Carl Jung, ‘“Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual’s conscious life, the blacker and denser it is.. if it is repressed and isolated from consciousness, it never gets corrected.”
The shadow usually comprises of aspects of our personality that society and ourselves tend to perceive as shameful, unacceptable, ugly or not welcome. In order to be accepted within society we keep it hidden and repressed. Some of the things that come up could be fear, anger, rage, jealousy, lust, desire for power, desire to be controlled, sexual kinks and competitiveness to name a few.
The essence of sexual shadow work is not to fix anything, because there is nothing wrong with these parts of ourselves, but to bring awareness to these hidden parts and integrate them into our consciousness. It is the awareness that will bring them into consciousness and only then will be able to work with them to bring a deeper knowing of ourselves and what really makes us tick as we move past blockages that have held us back.
By having the courage to turn our attention inside ourselves and look into our unconscious behaviours will bring to light what we have denied ourselves from seeing fully in our sexuality. Through enquiring with curiosity and in a playful way not only can free us from shame, fear and guilt but also gives us access to our own personal power that hides in our unconscious.
As we grow up we learn which behaviours and traits are met with approval by our care givers and which parts were met with disapproval. Sadly for many, sexuality as a whole, or certain flavours’ of sexuality are met with judgements, and become something to be ashamed of. The power of sexual shadow integration work is to undo these deep ingrained beliefs.
By bringing the hidden and suppressed parts of us into our consciousness and undoing and unpacking our fears and what lays beneath our fears gives us the ability to reclaim our power and integrate our erotic shadows.
So the question arises why does this matter?
In order for our energy to flow fully we need to ensure there are no blocks to our life force energy if we hide and supress parts of ourselves then this in itself will create a blockage to how our life force energy flows and stops us reaching our full sexual and erotic potential.
We limit our ability to be truly intimate as in order to be intimate we need to be transparent and take of the masks we use to protect us and hide behind. Once we can be fully intimate with ourselves we can then be intimate with others without the need to hide the most vulnerable parts of ourselves. This in turn aligns us with our personal power and connects us with our authentic selves.
Our suppressed parts of ourselves have a clever way of demanding our attention when we least expect it. Usually by taking on unwelcome qualities, which then play out unconsciously and out of our control. Quite often we project our shadows onto other instead of taking responsibility for our own inner demons this can lead to needs and strategies being out of balance and reinforces our own shame and self judgements.
Through shadow integration work we will look without judgements at desires, fantasies, shame, fear guilt and embarrassment around sexuality. Working with the inner critic, the witness and the observer to integrate these areas fully into our psyche and realise our full sexual potential and our own personal power without being held back by our conditioned beliefs. It will bring some profound ah ha moments and has the capacity to provide answers to every single question you may ever have had around sexuality. Some of these questions could be:
The list goes on and on I am sure you will have your own question.
What are the voices in my head that hold me back and how can I free myself from them?
Sexual shadow work is not something that can be offered in one session it is a series of work that needs to be undertaken over a period of time and my role is guide you on our journey of discovery not to provide you with answer and also give you the opportunity to get to know yourself seeing the full aspect of who you are in totality.
I will give you the tools the find your own answers and support you in this as it can be deep and profound work. Speaking from a personal perspective it is the most powerful piece of work I have ever done which is why it has become my forte. Having gone through the work myself I have seen the clarity and benefits it has brought and how it has increased my own capacity and understanding of my own sexuality.
I have a saying that when you sign up for the gym you don’t just go the once and all of a sudden you are super fit, but over a period of time your fitness will improve if you do the work. The same principal applies to sexual shadow integration work you get out what you put into it and there are many gifts to be gained for those who are willing to fully engage and face their own sexual shadows.
Shadow work is necessary and an important part of feeling fully alive, to a wholesome life and to live a life as a full expression of the most authentic and raw aspects of our personality.
I look forward to holding the space for you as you discover and welcome your own full sexual potential.
Here is a very powerful you tube video about shadow work:
I work from home in a specifically set up temple space which is private, homely, warm, inviting and comfortable.
Depending on the session there is either a futon mattress on the floor for Tantric massage and floor work or a massage table for Sexological body work sessions, Lomi Lomi massage, erotic massage and Bondage Massage. I have shower facilities and you are welcome to take a shower afterwards and every session is followed by herbal tea and snack.